Dimanche 22 Janvier 2012
Ça y est, c’est le départ !
Je suis dans l’avion, décollage imminent… enfin c’est plutôt une baleine géante (A 380 !).
Je m’envole vers une nouvelle aventure, en solo, à l’autre bout de la terre, avec tout à (re)commencer, chercher un boulot, un logement, faire des rencontres… et je vous avoue que c‘est quand même flippant au moment du départ !
Plusieurs émotions m’envahissent… la peur de l’inconnu, la tristesse de laisser les amis et les amours derrière moi, le flip aussi de quitter le confort et l’environnement familier et rassurant de ma petite vie tranquille à Toulouse, un certain sentiment de solitude, (personne ne m’attend là-bas)… mettez tout ça dans un shaker, remuez bien fort et vous obtiendrez une Céline à 10000m d’altitude, 850 km/h, qui se demande un peu ce qu’elle fout là ! Salut la France !
Je lis souvent l’Alchimiste de Paulo Coelho pour me rassurer quand je pars seule en voyage et que je me demande un peu le sens à tout ça. C’est donc ce que je fais et ça marche. Bon, je me suis arrêtée aux « notes de l’auteur » mais ça m’a suffi. J’ai d’ailleurs envie de partager un passage avec vous. Je ne l’ai qu’en anglais, désolée pour les non-anglophones : (je traduirai plus tard si je trouve le temps...)
"We don’t all have the courage to confront our own dream. Why?
There are 4 obstacles. First, we are told from childhood onwards that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it’s still there.
If we have the courage to disinter our dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: love. We know what we want to do, but afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward, and that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.
Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn’t work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse, ‘Oh, well, I didn’t really want it anyway.” We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of personal calling is not easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then we warriors of lights must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.
I ask myself: are defeats necessary? Well, necessary or not, they happen. When we first begin fighting for our dream, we have no experience and make many mistakes. The secret of life, though, is to fall 7 times and to get up 8 times. (…) Once we have overcome the defeats - and we always do – we are filled with a greater sense of euphoria and confidence.
Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the 4th obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we have been fighting all our lives. (…) This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. (…) "